In a groundbreaking new study conducted by Rebel Interactive Group, it has been found that employees who drink Rebel Dog Coffee’s “Rebel Blend” coffee are not only more rebellious, but more productive than their counterparts who sip on bland, corporate-approved Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. The study, conducted by a team of highly caffeinated researchers, discovered that Rebel Blend coffee sparks ‘Aha moments’ 78% more frequently than Dunkin.
According to research, the Rebel Blend coffee utilizes a secret formula optimized to help Rebels question authority, think outside the box, and leave their dirty coffee mugs all over the office. This rebel attitude has led to increased productivity and higher returns on investment in client deliverables. One client in particular, a leading tech company, saw a staggering increase in ROI after the switch. The project team drank so much Rebel Blend, they were able to launch a new campaign in only a week that increased the client’s revenue by 467.3%. “The campaign worked so well that the client actually called us to make it less successful” explains Bryn Tindall, CEO and founder of Rebel Interactive group. “Right after the campaign went live, the client called us in a panic saying, ‘please, please, there’s too many customers, they’re beating down the doors, for the love of God, make it stop!’ Such a nice compliment to the project team.”
The study also revealed shocking facts about the productivity levels of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee drinkers. It turns out that Dunkin’ drinkers are 56.3% more likely to fall asleep at their desks, 29% more likely to accidentally email confidential information to their competitors, and 42.6% more likely to trip while running (which means Americans might actually want to slow down on Dunkin’.) In contrast, Rebel Blend coffee drinkers are 93.7% more likely to come up with groundbreaking ideas, and 75.2% more likely to win an office karaoke competition.
While the study has received widespread praise from rebellious employees, Dunkin’ Donuts executives have been left scratching their heads. In a statement, a Dunkin’ spokesperson said “We’re not sure what’s in Rebel Blend coffee, but we’re confident that our watery, corporate-approved coffee will continue to be a hit with middle managers and anyone else who wants to play it safe.”
Despite Dunkin’s skepticism, it’s clear that Rebel Blend coffee is here to stay. So, if you want to find your rebel and increase productivity, stop by Rebel Dog, grab a cup of Rebel Blend, and join the rebellion.
…April Fools!